A Roast of "Queer Eye's" Antoni Porowski
Updated: Apr 23, 2019
He may be easy on the eyes, but he is no such food and wine "expert."
Okay, so we all know "Queer Eye," Netflix's reboot of the hit early-2000s show where five fabulous gay men give advice to other men (shall we call them "fixer uppers"?) on grooming, style, interior design, food, and culture, is the most wholesome thing we didn't know we needed this year. However, I have a bone to pick with one of the fab five. Don't get me wrong, I am planted firmly in the "Queer Eye" camp aka I cried during every episode, but I simply cannot stay silent on the injustice that is Queer Eye's food and wine "expert." Antoni Porowski needs to be held accountable for his absolutely abysmal cooking skills and food-related advice.
During each episode, the "Fab Five" help a man more-or-less turn his life around. Each of the fab five has an area of expertise. Bobby, for example, is an interior designer and totally renovates and redecorates the person's home. While food is also a major component of people's lives, QE's food and wine expert does the bare minimum and I'm not having it.
So, What's His Deal?
On episode three, our friend Antoni helps a man prepare an appetizer and a pitcher of sangria to surprise his wife, since she normally does all the cooking. Sounds sweet, right? Well, this glorious appetizer turned out to be just a sliced up avocado and some grapefruit, drizzled with olive oil and seasoned with salt and pepper. Profound, I know.
Although presentation is clearly a forte of his, I really found myself wondering if Antoni can actually cook. I mean, on episode seven, he literally does not show the man how to make anything. At that point, I was done with Antoni. When I hear "food and wine expert," I think of someone who teaches people how to elevate their food game. And, although during some episodes he may teach the men how to enhance some classic favorites like mac & cheese and hot dogs, Antoni's skills just aren't cutting it.
I think Antoni should help the fab five's "fixer uppers" to create a book of recipes that are easy, healthy, and delicious, which they can refer to later on once the fab five have left. I doubt the man who made that avocado and grapefruit appetizer has now been culinarily transformed, whereas the other experts really make a difference and seem far more involved than Antoni.
It's really a shame because "Queer Eye" is otherwise a unifying cultural masterpiece and Antoni is just bringing the group average down. So I'm spraying, delaying, and walking away from Antoni Porowski (although he is absolutely gorgeous).
Originally published by Spoon University.